“WAP” was released last week, which makes it ancient history in 2020 terms. So to refresh: it is a fun new single by Cardi B with Megan Thee Stallion that celebrates women’s sexuality, which, for some reason, YouTube and political conservatives find really disturbing, to the point of, respectively, overdubbing “wet-ass pussy” with “wet and gushy,” and quoting their “doctor wife” about how a wet-ass pussy is a sign of a medical issue.
Vulture, doing the Lord’s work, consulted an actual gynecologist, Dr. Lauren Streicher, director of the Northwestern Medicine Center for Sexual Medicine and Menopause, who confirmed that “vaginal lubrication is a good and healthy thing.... From a gynecologic point of view, this is just talking about normal physiology, normal response.” In other words, as anyone who has ever read a romance novel or seen a tube of lube in the drugstore could tell you, a wet-ass pussy is something you want if you have a vagina and you’re about to have sex.
Streicher did, however, confess to being confused about the part at the end where Cardi B compares her wet-ass pussy to “macaroni in a pot” and suggested “juicy peach” as a better metaphor (as well as one that’s more emoji-friendly). But on this point the good doctor might actually be wrong. Because, in a deep dive through internet history, Buzzfeed has uncovered an old Vine video (remember those?) that may have been Cardi B’s inspiration.
“Macaroni in a pot” is a reference to the sound of a wet-ass pussy, not the texture.
The best part of this video is, of course, the mom, who has no patience for her teenage son’s nonsense. The word she yells at him is “Hmar!” which is Arabic for “donkey.” That seems about right.
Anyway, Buzzfeed got back in touch with Mohamad Zoror, who is still so proud of that 2014 Vine that he made a TikTok video reminding the world about it. He thinks it’s likely he was the inspiration for Cardi B because she was a Vine user back in the day and once got in touch with him about how much she liked his work. Also Genius Annotator said so. Zoror told Buzzfeed that the Vine made his mom, Ehssan, a minor celebrity, and she was so happy when people recognized her in the grocery store that she forgave him for being such a hmar. Don’t you just love happy endings?