The Waffle House Index is currently at red, meaning that a significant number of locations of the diner chain, usually as reliable as the postal service, have closed. Yesterday, in an attempt to soothe its fans, Waffle House announced on Twitter that it was selling waffle mix on its website. (It was also selling the board game Waffleopoly.) CNN reported that each $20+shipping order of waffle mix came with three bags of the stuff, each containing enough mix for five or six waffles. Which doesn’t seem like a lot for the money, but who am I to criticize people for seeking comfort in these desperate times?
But then, just four hours later:
There’s still Waffleoploy, at least. (Sales are capped at one game per person.) And packs of Waffle House coffee, though I guess that’s not nearly as beloved as the waffle mix.
Here’s some exciting news, though: the entire catalog of Waffle House records is available on Spotify! (But not Jelly Roll’s mixtape Whiskey, Weed & Waffle House. If anything, today’s Waffle House news should be an object lesson in you win some, you lose some.) So pour yourself another cup of coffee and have a listen to “I’m Going Back to the Waffle House” and pretend it’s coming from the jukebox at the Waffle House, not a computer or phone in your house.