If you followed my Dryuary saga (and if so, thanks for reading), you may remember that in week two, I was faced with a karaoke party. The last time I had sung in public without a drop of alcohol in my system was when I was an alto in my 6th-grade choir. This time, I went for one of my standards, like “Angel Of The Morning,” and was horrified by my non-lubricated vocal chords. I sounded like two cats having a fight in an alley.
Not saying that everyone automatically sounds better if they’re drinking while singing karaoke, but they certainly think they do, adding a confidence which I believe then aids their vocal ability. Or at least, their volume. So it’s a good thing I don’t live in Utah, where the karaoke lounge Heart & Seoul (aw) recently applied for a beer license, and was turned down by the alcohol control authority by a 5-1 vote.
What is this nonsensical reason behind this? Fox13 in Salt Lake City states that “Utah’s notoriously strict liquor laws considered karaoke a ‘recreational activity,’” and the state legislature “recently changed the law to only include a set list of activities like billiards, bowling, miniature golf and concerts” that were able to have alcohol on the premises. (Miniature golf? Isn’t that more dangerous, with clubs swinging around?) One of the state commissioners suggested to Heart & Soeul’s owner that he add a pool table, thereby skirting the legislation.
Also on the no-drink activity chopping block under the new legislation: ax-throwing, which totally makes sense. But not letting karaoke participants drink is both cruel to the singers and the people who have to hear them. Just ask those people whose eardrums I violated with my painful, sober performance.