Trash Pandas want to give people food, not eat it, for once

Young woman volunteering to organize donations in large food bank
Photo: SDI Productions (Getty Images)

In “best baseball team name ever” news, the Rocket City Trash Pandas, a Minor League team based out of Madison, Alabama, is trying to break a world record, and it’s not baseball related.

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According to WHNT, a local CBS affiliate, the rascally raccoon rocketeers (seriously, check out the team logo, it’s amazing) are trying to break the Guinness World Record for “Largest Food Drive in 24 Hours at a Single Location.” The plan is to bring in 600,000 pounds of food for distribution in order to break the previous record set in 2011 in North Carolina, which weighed in at a whopping 559,885 pounds.

To incentivize maximum participation, the Trash Pandas (still doesn’t get old) will be facilitating giveaways throughout the day on November 11 for people who donate food at Toyota Field in Madison. Drop-offs will be contactless, and donations of any size will be taken. To make things even easier, donors can leave food in the back seat or trunk of their car, and volunteers will take it from there.

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To document the good deed, cameras and weigh stations will be set up on site to make sure the numbers are legit, and independent witnesses will also be around to confirm if the record is indeed broken. (Does anyone here know what 600,000 pounds of food looks like, give or take?) Regardless of whether it’s a new world record, this might be the only time on record that raccoons gather up food for others, rather than stealing it.

Staff writer at The Takeout. Also: Saveur Humor Blog Award Winner, professional pizza maker, and insufferable troublemaker.

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DISCUSSION

I appreciate charity but it has never been a substitute for worker’s rights and a functioning social safety net.