Let’s just put this out here now: The dog is totally fine!
Timothy Olyphant is a reliably charming TV interview. In the first two minutes of this one segment on Late Night With Seth Meyers, he forgets the name of his character in a new movie because “You know me, I’m method,” informs us that “the residuals are great” on animated films and declares that his latest is at 110 percent (not a typo) on Rotten Tomatoes, and other such delights. He seems, in short, real stoned, but in a good way, almost all the time.
And that’s probably what prompted Seth Meyers to ask, apropos of nothing, if it’s true that his dog got into his edibles.
It all starts at about 1:25.
For those unwilling or unable to watch, here you go:
SM: I forgot to ask you, is it true… your dog got into the edibles?
TO: Oh my god, this is the thing: When they legalize drugs, they just legalize it, and then they say, “ah, people will figure it out.”
SM: I feel like that’s not true, but go ahead.
TO: But listen New York, because it’s coming. The legal drugs are coming, and they’re gonna give you these little things that look like gummy bears. They look little kid treats. And what they don’t tell you is that dogs don’t know they’re drugs.
TO: Because you think, oh, it’s legal now, you can just leave it anywhere! Cops show up, who cares? Leave it on the couch! I’m not concerned! But the dog doesn’t know. He doesn’t know those are drugs.
Olyphant then goes on to assure the audience that he’s a good pet-owner. That leads Meyers to say, “I do want to point out that a lot of this interview has been you stressing how responsible you are,” to which Olyphant responds that he’s basically just trying to offer Meyers a cautionary tale, since the host has small children.
Anyway, Olyphant’s small dog, Little Bruno, ate six edibles.
TO: By the way, if you ever ask yourself, I wonder if you show up to a vet clinic with a stoned dog, if they’ll be like, “Oh my god, what?!”, they won’t. He’ll be like the third dog that showed up high. They’ll be like, “No, no we had a boxer here earlier today, way more stoned than that.” They say, come back in 45 minutes to pick him up. We’ll give you a brochure when you leave.” They’ve printed a brochure! That’s how common it is.
SM: What [does it say], to put on an album?
It’s charming, you should watch it. Also don’t let your dog eat weed candy, but if it happens, don’t worry, there’s a brochure.