It’s easy to get stuck in a sandwich rut. Grocery shopping can leave you buying the same lunch meat, bread, and toppings over and over again, just out of habit. You might toast your bread to try to mix things up, and that certainly helps, but that doesn’t change the monotony of what’s beneath that crispy exterior. To combat lunchtime fatigue TikTok user Jacob Pauwels (aka @adventuresinaardia) has channeled his Dungeons and Dragons knowledge to turn every sandwich into an adventure with Roll for a Sandwich.
Pauwels has devised his own system based on D&D dice to determine what he’ll add to his sandwich in the following categories:
- Bread: sub bun, naan, sprouted grain, etc.
- Main: turkey, peanut butter, bacon, etc.
- Cheese: vegan cheese, sharp cheddar, provolone, etc.
- Roughage: lettuce, pickle, sauerkraut, etc.
- Wild Magic: Cheetos, scrambled egg, cinnamon, etc.
- Sauce: ketchup, wasabi sauce, red wine vinegar, etc.
The selections for each category sometimes change from roll to roll; a certain roll of the dice might dictate double portions of a certain ingredient or require Pauwels to roll again. The result can sometimes lead to three proteins or an odd mishmash of sauces. Once Pauwels rolls through all six categories, he assembles the sandwich, slices it up, and takes a bite on camera before rating the sandwich from 1 to 10, though often his overtly expressive face provides the only review you need.
Some results reveal surprisingly delicious combinations; it turns out that salami, pineapple, cinnamon, and peanut butter make for a sandwich rated 9 out of 10. But when you leave things up to chance, there’s always an opportunity to get burned.
Even when sandwiches seem wretched to the viewer, Pauwels seems to give them a fair shot. Few of his ratings dip below the 3/10 mark. But recently he gave his worst score yet: a sandwich he simply dubbed “The Abomination” received a zero. This sandwich suffered from a couple of the dreaded “roll twice” selections in the main and roughage categories, and the result was a cartoonishly stacked sandwich composed of:
- English muffin
- Two vegan chicken patties
- Hot dogs
- Muenster cheese
- Green olives
- Pickled garlic
- Salt and pepper
- Wasabi sauce
“Too much of everything,” Pauwels laments while biting into the sandwich made up mostly of mush and vinegar. But without these abominations, you’ll never discover something new and delicious. And hey, at least it wasn’t the same old boring sandwich you have for lunch every single day.