We Do Not Endorse This TikTok "Hack" For Homemade Starbucks Caramel Macchiatos
I vividly remember tasting my first caramel macchiato many years ago as a student at Boston University and instantly realizing that this potent concoction of espresso and 40g of sugar was a healthy substitute for cocaine that could be purchased on my meal plan. Why am I mentioning cocaine this early on a Monday morning? Because it's the only thing as frenetic as this TikTok "hack" for homemade caramel macchiatos. Please sturdy yourselves, and enjoy:
This is a sin pic.twitter.com/OEUXktcD8D
— les 🤠 (@deathritual) January 23, 2021
Lest you think you're having a college-era acid flashback, I assure you that your eyes have not deceived you. What you just watched was a person filling the reservoir of a Mr. Coffee machine with French Vanilla Coffeemate creamer, dumping half a can of pre-ground Don Francisco Colombian Blend coffee into the basket filter with at least a quarter cup of Hershey's Sundae Dream Caramel Syrup squirted on top, and then coating the coffee pot itself with even more caramel syrup before flipping on that poor, violated coffeemaker.
If you are currently sitting agape and wondering how to emotionally process all of this, I've been in the same exact place for a solid 15 minutes and am not sure when this feeling will pass. I am not publishing this because I felt it would make your life any better, but rather because I do not want to be alone with these wretched emotions festering in my soul. I am praying with every ounce of my soul that SultanBash007's caramel macchiato is nothing but another TikTok prank (part 2 of the video does not provide any further clues as to the drink hack's authenticity). But knowing that millions of my fellow moms are similarly descending ever further into madness with each and every quarantined day, I can't discount the possibility that this is real. Balancing work, homeschooling, housekeeping, and child-entertaining has a way of straining the human brain, and maybe that strain has made us nostalgic for the days where we could make terrible (and terribly fun!) decisions with impunity. But this nightmare macchiato is not the answer, people.