Stop Throwing Cheese At Babies

We guess this isn't technically as stupid as eating Tide Pods, since no one's gotten sick or died (yet), but this ranks with the dumbest of internet trends imaginable (which is definitely saying something). In short, as NBC New York reports, "Throwing Cheese at Babies Is the Newest Viral Internet Challenge." If you're super-curious—resist!—just look up the hashtag #cheesedchallenge on Twitter and Instagram and gaze upon a million future therapy bills as parents toss slices of cheese at the heads of their beloved offspring.

What possible reason could there be for this? NBC points to "hundreds of thousands of views." Is that really worth startling your child in this manner? Maybe making them a bit suspicious of you in the future? It's like those Jimmy Kimmel videos where parents give their kids crappy Christmas presents: What is so fun about seeing kids in distress?

Cheesing dogs I could get behind—plus they would enjoy the snack after. This, however, is pointless and possibly damaging. I once gave my son too-hot cereal when he was a baby and I swear he glared at me for a week. And my daughter refused to walk to her father for a while after he accidentally dropped her when he tripped on the sidewalk. Babyhood is tough enough: Why add dairy-related paranoia? As with all things, we defer to Chrissy Teigen:

I love a prank as much as anybody but I cannot get myself to throw cheese at my adorable, unsuspecting baby who has all the hope and trust in the world in me

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) March 3, 2019