This groundhog methodically munching pizza for an hour is an inspiration to us all

Illustration for article titled This groundhog methodically munching pizza for an hour is an inspiration to us all
Screenshot: ABC

There’s really not much more to it than what you see above, but Pizza Groundhog is no more or less than exactly what he is, and that’s a raw reflection of every last one of us.

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The groundhog, who resides in Philadelphia, is described by most news outlets as “unfazed,” because there’s no better word for how he keeps his cool, chomping on his treasure with a detached air of calm. He’s eating his pizza. Please do not bother him.

The video, shot by Kristin Chalela Bagnell from inside her kitchen, shows the groundhog (who’s being widely referred to as a “rodent” when the proper term is obviously “esteemed gourmand”) making steady progress through his pizza slice, not even flinching when a sturdy-looking pit bull walks right up to the glass separating them, obviously intrigued. The groundhog isn’t interested. He’s eating his pizza. Please let him eat in peace.

At no point does the groundhog even turn away from the window; he continues to face it the entire time, as if watching the interior of Bagnell’s home like it’s a TV program. This groundhog has been compared far and wide to 2015's famed Pizza Rat, but in fact, I think there’s a world of difference between them. The rat is focused on transporting the pizza, scurrying with his cargo down the steps of the subway, and after a few unsuccessful attempts to move the big, unwieldy NYC slice, he gives up and seeks shelter under the station steps. Not Pizza Groundhog. He’s out in the open with his bounty and he doesn’t care who knows it. He selects a comfortable perch upon which to chow down. He takes an hour to eat his slice before wandering away. Beyond that, Philly’s pizza is completely different from New York’s. But I’m sure no one wants to turn this into a discussion of which city has more delicious pizza that you’d happily spend an hour devouring. No. Not at all.

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

Dr Emilio Lizardo

If the groundhog coughs on April 16th, we get 6 more weeks of Social Distancing.