We here at The Takeout do our best never to yuck on anyone else’s yum, so this map from Hater—a dating app that pairs people up on the basis of what they dislike, brought to our attention by the fine people of Uproxx—is a bit of a sticky wicket for us. On the one hand, it’s a map, people like maps, we like maps. Maps are good. On the other hand, it’s a collection of “ew, gross” by state. Not our bag.
Still, this is a weird collection of things people hate, and so we have some questions. Here’s the map in full.
- First, has it occurred to no one that this is not, in fact, a collection of foods people hate, but a collection of foods that people who are trying to get laid say they hate? We see you, New Jersey—sure you hate gas station wine. Sure you do.
- Second, some of these seem based more on societal and cultural stuff than anything else. Who hates tapas? We absolutely do not believe that the “food” most hated by North Dakotans is bacon-wrapped dates and potato croquettes and lamb skewers and garlic chili shrimp, etc. See also: canned food (Connecticut), foraged food (Tennessee), gluten-free (Wyoming), and fast food (Oregon).
- Hey, Alaska: a) why Voss Water specifically?, b) is this just because there’s one guy somewhere in Barrow, Alaska who really hates those fancy-ass looking Voss bottles, and he’s the only one using the app?
- Is the “expensive cocktails” entry for New Hampshire or Vermont?
- We checked, it’s New Hampshire. So, NH, what’s expensive? Do you mean you hate paying $15 for a Jack-and-Coke at a hotel bar (a universal hate) or do you mean you hate paying $12 for a craft cocktail made with small-batch spirits and fresh fruit juice and maybe a fancy garnish?
- And South Dakota—see above. But go ahead, keep hating fancy cheese plates. More for the rest of us.
- To our fellow Illinois residents: what’s the deal with biting string cheese? Of all the things to hate, you hate biting string cheese? We, too, prefer peeling, but this is the Malort state... and you go with string cheese?
- California hates Chick-Fil-A?
- Missouri hates the last bite of a hot dog? Do they just throw that end away?
- What’s going on in the gene pool in Arkansas?
- While this writer cannot speak for the rest of The Takeout staff, she would like to politely ask the residents of her home state of Michigan what the hell is wrong with them? Cold pizza is delicious.
There are some choices here that make perfect sense and seem likely to be honest—of course Washington hates Keurig, of course New York hates ranch on pizza, of course Texas hates steak well-done. But we would like to urge those of you evaluating your potential love interests based on what they hate to remember that pretending to hate something is the laziest possible way to fake a personality. Also, anyone who says they have never purchased wine at a gas station is lying.