You didn’t ask for 8 hours of dripping queso footage, but, well, here it is anyway

Illustration for article titled You didn’t ask for 8 hours of dripping queso footage, but, well, here it is anyway
Photo: Moe’s Southwest Grill

Soft, ethereal spa music. A featureless white void. A single cup of cheese. A glacial parade of bare chips being gently, lovingly submerged in queso by the most purposeful of dunking hands. Eight hours, six minutes, and 21 seconds of non-stop dipping, dripping, and drizzling. This is how Moe’s Southwest Grill has chosen to insert themselves in the public consciousness today, and if you’re a fan of runny cheese, this queso promotion might be exactly the content you crave. We’re simply making you aware of its existence, and placing it here for your perusal.

The video is an attempt by the fast food chain to provide customers with “a new method of relaxation,” per the company’s press release. It’s also noted, rather unnervingly, that anyone “can spend more than a quarter of their day unwinding with this visually satisfying YouTube video.” More than a third of our day, even. More hours than an entire 9-to-5 workday. More time than we usually spend sleeping at night, devoted entirely to the seductive swirling of queso.

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I’ve also been apprised that there are several Easter eggs woven into the video between the infinitude of dips and drizzles. (One of these Easter eggs even made me chuckle a bit.) This footage might appeal to anyone out there who dabbles in the Instagram subgenres of slime, sand cutting, or wildly unnecessary cookie decorating. The whole video is a rather superliminal reminder by Moe’s that its customers should always be craving, and purchasing, lots of queso. Mainly, though, I’m left with technical questions regarding its production. How did the queso stay so drippy and dippable this entire time? Do you think they swapped it out and spliced the footage, or maybe the table surface was heated? Do you think the dipping hand got sore after a while from all that chip-pinching? Does Moe’s Southwest Grill make good queso? Is there somewhere I should definitely be purchasing my queso in Illinois? Should I... should I eat some queso for lunch?

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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Burners Baby Burners: Discussion Inferno

I tried to Benny Hill this, but the results were... inconclusive:

http://bennyhillthis.com/?v=99zgetofUNQ