There's a matchmaking app for cows called Tudder

Illustration for article titled Theres a matchmaking app for cows called Tudder
Photo: shaggstock (iStock)

I’m reading a book to my toddler where there’s a baby cow named Daisy (naturally), and it’s a gentle reminder that Daisy wouldn’t face a certain future of pulverization into pink slime if not for a mommy and daddy cow.

Advertisement

Indeed, cows need love too, or at least other cows for hooking up. An eBay-like site in the U.K. called Sell My Livestock, which boasts 43,000-plus farmers among its users, has launched an app that sounds both tongue-in-cheek and legitimate: It’s called Tudder, and the BBC describes it as a matchmaking app “to help farmers find the perfect breeding partner for their cattle.”

Naturally, I downloaded the app from the Apple App store, and within seconds I was swiping through pics of some hot, savory singles.

Advertisement

The first profile I encountered: British Friesians! But whoa, 9-10 months, I ain’t going near that.

Next: 50 Pedigree Flekvieh In-Calf Breeding Dairy Females! But 50? I’m looking for love, not a bovine remake of Caligula (which should be called Cowligula).

Illustration for article titled Theres a matchmaking app for cows called Tudder
Photo: Kevin Pang’s iPhone

Bottom line: It’s a slick-looking app, one that I’ve already deleted, but sounds useful for its intended audience and that counts tennis superstar Andy Murray as a backer.

Advertisement

Kevin Pang was the founding editor of The Takeout, and director of the documentary For Grace.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

andtrollingishalfthebattle
AndTrollingIsHalfTheBattle

I’m just gonna sit here and wait for everybody to milk all the relevant cow puns dry.