There’s a fallacy in digital media that readers will only click on listicles and photo galleries. Malarkey! The Takeout has been in existence for six weeks, and our analytics have already revealed this incontrovertible fact: Our readers are a smart and curious bunch! Well done, audience. Let’s stroll down memory lane and revisit The Takeout’s five most-read stories of the year.
5. Taste Test: 25 Trader Joe’s holiday treats, ranked from disgusting to divine
How we did it: We gathered a group of Onion Inc. staffers around the office kitchen, and taste-tested these one-by-one. Then we assigned each product a score: buy it, skip it, or meh. I entered all the scores into a spreadsheet, and the results were as thus. [Link]
4. Wendy’s Giant Junior Bacon Cheeseburger was fast food’s greatest burger and now you can’t get it
I’ve always loved Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, but my only knock against it was the carb-to-protein ratio was out-of-whack. There was too much bread in relation to the meats. So when Wendy’s introduced the Giant JBC in August—a sandwich with double the beef, American cheese, and bacon—I was overjoyed that my favorite fast food burger was somehow improved upon. But just as quickly, the sandwich was taken off the menu, and this was my elegy to a cheeseburger that departed us all too soon. [Link]
3. Pry this lesbian Starbucks cup from my cold, dyke hands
A compelling meditation on the faux-outrage that seems to afflict Starbucks each holiday season. But let’s not kid ourselves, readers clicked on this because of Jen Sabella’s fantastic headline. [Link]
2. Is it safe to eat deli meats with that metallic sheen?
A story born after noticing my deli roast beef glowed with an iridescent sheen, then wondering if it was safe to eat. After a few e-mail correspondences with contributing writer Dave McCowan, who works at the physics department at the University of Chicago, this story was the result. [Link]
1. What the uff is Minnesota-style pizza?
Here I spent 30 minutes investigating whether Minnesota-style pizza actually exists. It doesn’t. But thanks for reading this story anyway. [Link]