You’re vaccinated, boosted, and heading out for a drink or two. You land in the dive of your choice, belly up to the bar, and get the bartender’s attention. They look expectantly at you as you holler your order, but you soon realize they can’t hear you through your mask in the noisy crowd. You yell louder, to no avail. You stand there awkwardly, wondering: Should you lower your mask so the bartender can hear you?
No! Do not do this, readers! Not only is this unsafe; it’s wholly unnecessary. We get it: you’re dying for a drink, but someone just ripped “Come On, Eileen” on the jukebox and the whole place is bumpin’. But there’s no need to blow your spittle droplets all over your bartender. Instead, we recommend employing this tip we picked up from a Los Angeles bartender on Instagram: Instead of ripping off your mask to be heard, just type your order into your notes app and hold your phone up to the bartender.
So easy! Want a PBR? Type “PBR please :)” and present your bartender with the phone. Want a peanut butter and jelly martini? Do some self-reflecting, then type “PB & J MARTINI” into your notes. It’s quick, easy, and much less embarrassing than the alternative, which involves playing an impromptu game of charades and flailing so hard that you whack another patron in the nose. Not to mention, you’re much more likely to get what you actually wanted instead of accepting a funky IPA because the bartender misheard you.
There you have it. A revolutionary tip to make things easier and safer for your bar staff as we cruise into 2022. Oh, and one other thing: Remember to tip extra. Your bartenders are grinding away, and there’s a good chance that other patrons won’t be as conscientious with their mask-wearing. A hearty tip goes a long way.