In what’s swiftly becoming a spring tradition, a new Game Of Thrones-inspired beer from Brewery Ommegang arrived in The A.V. Club offices last month, this one borne on the stuffed wings of a plush bird toy. And just as we have since the First Men combined wheat, barley, and hops and branded it with a recognizable Song Of Fire And Ice allusion, The A.V. Club tasted that beer on-camera. Watch below as TV editor Erik Adams and senior editor Sean O’Neal sample Three-Eyed Raven, a dark saison that’s as full-bodied as Hodor and as bold as preemptively declaring that Hodor (and Bran, and presumably the beer’s namesake) won’t appear in season five.
In the interest of shaking up our own long-running series, The A.V. Club commemorated its future Sundays without Mad Men’s boozy charms by pairing Three-Eyed Raven with some Arkay Alcohol-Free Whisky. Like a non-alcoholic Don Draper, Arkay left a bad taste in our mouths, and our attempts at doctoring up some Old Fashioneds with the industrial-flavored brown liquid turned into the mixological equivalent of Don’s Hershey pitch. It was only after the cameras stopped spinning that we realized we’d whiffed on the perfect name for this concoction: The Freddy Rumsen. Shut the door, have a seat, watch the video, and for the gods’ sakes: help keep the “alcohol” in “alcoholic beverages.”