Welcome back to The Takeout’s Official 2021 Halloween Candy Power Rankings. We’re dropping weekly ratings of the top 10 best-selling Halloween candies in America. Last week, we determined that Tootsie Pops are the least texturally pleasing candy thanks to their tongue-splintering sugar shards; meanwhile, we all agreed that Twix’s cookie crunch can’t be beat.
Now we’re thinking through each of these candies in terms of how suitable they are for stowing in a purse, pocket, backpack, bike basket, or any number of other places while on the go. Once Halloween has passed, we’ll still be working our way through all that candy, so we’ll want to make sure it can hold up on the journey. This week, the question is: Which of 2021’s top Halloween candies is the most portable?
Let’s face it: pockets are a Reese’s worst enemy. Even a smidgen of body heat will send a Reese’s Cup oozing into oblivion, turning on-the-go snacking into a chocolate slosh-fest. These bad boys sure do taste good, but they’re a commuter’s nightmare with their delicate, squishy centers, flimsy cardboard stabilizers, and greasy cup liners.
Like Reese’s, these little guys can quickly turn into a melty mess. But while they have a bit more structural staying power than the tender peanut butter cup, Hershey Minis tend to seep out of their gently folded wrappers, picking up all sorts of detritus along the way.
Snickers get a few points because you can, in theory, unsheath a single bar and eat banana-style while holding the wrapper so your hands stay clean. However, chocolate is chocolate, which means you better be ready for some melty finger-licking unless you live in a freezer.
Twix narrowly surpassed Snickers in the portable category for a few reasons. First, as Takeout editor in chief Marnie Shure points out, they hold up a lot better than other chocolate candies thanks to their “less gooey innards,” as well as the strong cookie foundation. However, they can still wilt in the heat—although they can be re-frozen and crushed, making for a great ice cream topping.
The Takeout team was a bit torn on the portability of the Tootsie Pop. Staff writer Dennis Lee argues that the lollipop stick takes up too much space in one’s pocket; staff writer Lillian Stone adds that the wrappers tend to unravel in transit, allowing miscellaneous hair to sneak in and sully your candy experience. However, we can all agree that Tootsie Pops are generally less melty and more portable than most of the chocolate options on this list. Plus, they last for ages.
On one hand, if you have a hole in your bag, these little buddies are the first to escape. On the other, Jolly Ranchers are individually wrapped and fairly melt-proof. Also, as Takeout editor in chief Marnie Shure points out, these are widely available in “portable scenarios” like car cupholders and waiting room jars. It’s as if they’re begging, “take me with you!”
Sour Patch Kids are a near-perfect road trip snack, with a slick little bag that’s easy to fold, clip, and save for later. Just be sure you don’t let that sour powder sneak out, lest ye suffer the gritty, glitter-like consequences.
M&M bags are just as handy as Skittles bags for on-the-go snacking; however, M&M’s can, in some cases, exhibit a bit of meltage. If that happens, you’re left with one strangely textured chocolate blob. That’s more of a worst-case scenario, though. In general, M&M’s are the only way to bring a bit of chocolatey goodness on the go without worrying about a miscellaneous fudge smudge in your back pocket.
Highly portable, utterly melt-proof, and relatively discreet to eat in silent scenarios (i.e. the movies, the DMV), Skittles are what staff writer Allison Robicelli calls “an edible form of bubble wrap.”
We’ve decried individually wrapped Starbursts for their unnecessary packaging in the past; however, the tight little wrappers around each fruit chew ensure that you can tote these things around for weeks without any external penetration. You can forget about them in a backpack for a year, and you’re still good as gold. It just goes to show that one man’s excessive trash is another man’s portable treasure, which is an adage we’ll never repeat ever again.
Read all of our 2021 Halloween Candy Power Rankings here: