Every year around Valentine’s Day, a bunch of new, sickly sweet, probably red products pop onto the market. This year, everyone seems to be celebrating the existence of red velvet, from Oreo to the fine and totally financially stable people at Hostess. And because it’s Valentine’s Day—or almost Valentine’s Day, depending on when you’re reading this—The A.V. Club decided to choke down some saccharine goodness in the name of journalism, science, eternal romance, and the proliferation of the Taste Test video. This time, Marah Eakin and Katie Rife are joined by food-savvy comedian Ian Karmel, who just happened to be in town. Bathed in the kind of harsh, fluorescent office light that even Christian Grey couldn’t find sexy, the trio mowed down new, limited-edition Red Velvet Oreos, Red Velvet Hostess Cupcakes, and—for good measure—Chocodile Twinkies with a “cherry flavored” center. The results are as unromantic as you’d imagine, but all that really matters is the journey our hearts took that cold day. Happy Valentine’s Day, snack lovers.