Photo: Lisovskaya (iStock)

I have no experience stealing frozen meat or seafood, but here’s a small tip from me to you: If you’ve stolen more than $1,100 in such products, don’t take actions that would cause police to pull you over.

One man did not heed such advice, though, and reportedly threw a beverage can out the window of his vehicle while driving through a Montgomery County, Texas subdivision Sunday. KHOU-11 News reports sheriff’s deputies then pulled him over, searched the vehicle, and found that it contained $1,188 worth of “beef, pork, shrimp and other items, including a roast in the glove box and a T-Bone steak underneath the driver’s seat.” Police had recently received a call of meat theft at the Kroger located at 3731 Riley Fuzzel Road.

Related questions:

  • How does one steal $1,188 worth of meat and shrimp and avoid detection?
  • What kind of street name is Riley Fuzzel?
  • Why would you risk littering if you’re packing a stolen roast in the glovebox?
  • Do police need a warrant to search your glovebox for stolen roasts, even if they have probably cause?

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KHOU-11 goes on to say the 52-year-old man was taken into custody on charges of felony theft, and that the meat was subsequently returned to Kroger. Wait, this means I’m adding one more question:

  • Kroger can’t sell that stolen-and-recovered meat, right?

(In case you noticed, yes, I’m on the crime beat today.)

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