It’s almost Easter, which means stores are inundated with pastel eggs, butter shaped like lambs, and all sorts of off-brand chocolate items that look better than they taste. Milk might not seem like a natural fit for that sort of saccharine bullshit, but Prairie Farms dairy bucked that trend and went rogue, launching three new milk flavors just in time for Jesus’ no doubt dairy-inspired resurrection. Steel your stomachs, because, below, Katie Rife is joined by Chicago comedians Tiffany and Danielle Puterbaugh—better known as the Puterbaugh Sisters—to slam back some sickeningly sweet cow juice. While chocolate marshmallow milk might not sound that horrible, we were a little more skeptical of Easter Egg Nog, whatever that is. There was also a three-flavor suicide chugging contest near the end of the whole endeavor, because, well, just because.
Bonus points to Tiffany, who didn’t tell us she was lactose intolerant until after the shoot and then barfed up a pastel milk explosion in the office bathroom. That kind of commitment to the Taste Test cause is truly admirable, if not a little masochistic.