Taco Bell’s Rattlesnake Fries just might solve our loaded-fries dilemma

Illustration for article titled Taco Bell’s Rattlesnake Fries just might solve our loaded-fries dilemma
Photo: Taco Bell

Taco Bell has announced a new menu item, “once again challenging the fry-paradigm” (per an email from a company spokesperson) with the release of Steak Rattlesnake Fries. They’re fries topped with cheese sauce, steak, jalapeños, and “creamy jalapeño sauce.” The dish was tested in Columbus, Ohio. They arrive on February 28 for a limited time only, and cost $2.99. That is the information as it stands.

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Wait, one more detail: You can get these suckers wrapped in a tortilla.

This was quite the game-changing piece of news ‘round the Takeout offices, because I am the cheese-sauce that stands alone on the issue of loaded fries. My take: If they taste good, who cares? Their take:

This shouldn’t be a revolutionary idea. Potato tacos are, after all, delicious. But the idea that you can order this whole Rattlesnake situation in burrito form is still a pretty cool little twist. My colleagues’ objection to loaded fries is that they eventually become a gloppy mass of stuff, just potato and cheese and sour cream and whatever else all glued together. But in burrito form, that’s the whole idea! You get the gloppy mass in a helpful, edible carrying case.

And that’s the story of how Taco Bell converted my co-workers to the church of gloppy mass of fries.

Taco Bell will begin selling Rattlesnake Fries, in and out of burrito form, beginning February 28.

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!

DISCUSSION

Jalapeños aren’t a spice, they’re a weed. Putting them onto or into something doesn’t make it spicy.

I’m not saying jalapeños taste worse than the carpet in a ten year old metro train car, but they don’t taste much better.

There, I said it.