Photo: Taco Bell

Next month, reservations will open for The Bell: A Taco Bell Hotel & Resort in Palm Springs. The destination, which a press release describes as a “Tacoasis resort,” will run for a limited time, as the restaurant transforms an existing hotel into a Taco Bell-themed establishment complete with a Taco Bell salon, Taco Bell poolside cocktails, Taco Bell breakfasts ordered to Taco Bell guest rooms, Taco Bell happy hour drinks to go with special hotel-only Taco Bell menu items. It is, as you might have intuited, the work of Taco Bell, and yes, there is also a gift shop.

This takeover (the hotel in question is unnamed) essentially aims to immerse visitors seeking the “Taco Bell lifestyle” in corporate branding and Diablo sauce during every moment of their trip, up to and including a salon offering, fades, a braid bar, and “Taco Bell-inspired nail art.”

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Photo: Taco Bell

A Taco Bell muckety muck explains the appeal thusly, in a press release:

“The Bell stands to be the biggest expression of the Taco Bell lifestyle to date. It will be fun, colorful, flavorful and filled with more than what our fans might expect,” said Taco Bell’s Chief Global Brand Officer Marisa Thalberg. “Also, just like some of our most sought-after food innovation, this hotel brings something entirely new for lucky fans to experience and enjoy.”

We at The Takeout love a good hotel stay, and can even appreciate the odd publicity gimmick. On this one, however, we’re a bit torn. On the one hand, this seems hilarious and we love snacks and poolside cocktails. On the other, being surrounded on all sides by corporate fast food branding whilst on vacation—essentially, paying to be immersed in ads—sounds like a straight-up dystopian nightmare.

If you love Taco Bell, novelty, and Instagramming weird things, reservations for The Bell will open in June. Sorry, kids, you have to be at least 18 to surrender your vacation days and/or soul to the company that brought us Nacho Fries.

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