Taco Bell delivers

Illustration for article titled Taco Bell delivers
Photo: Taco Bell

Some changes feel so destined, so right, so inevitable and correct that once they happen, it’s the old way that seems strange and foreign. You meet the right person. You adopt the perfect pet. You get bangs. And now, you order a Cheesy Gordita Crunch and two things of Nacho Fries at 1 a.m. Is it the first time, or have you been drunk-snacking on cinnamon twists forever?


Today, Taco Bell announced nationwide delivery through Grubhub, finally allowing the chain to fulfill its destiny as the stuff you eat at 2 a.m. even if you’re too lazy (or tipsy) to go pick up your order. The partnership involves the integration of TB’s point-of-sale system directly into Grubhub’s app; whatever crazy algorithm or math is involved, the result is that pickup should be timed to when the order is ready, meaning your chalupa won’t sit under a heat lamp for 10 minutes while the driver waits at a red light or something. Grubhub has also swelled the ranks of its drivers in areas home to a Bell, “so more fans can stay in, stay warm, stay fed and live más.”

We must admit that while not all fast food delivery strikes us as all that appealing—who wants a Whopper Jr. that takes 20 minutes to reach your door, or an order of McD’s fries at minute 19?—Taco Bell does seem like a no-brainer when it comes to delivery. Perhaps this is the key: If you want a burger at 11:30 p.m. and don’t want to leave the house, you have many options, and plenty of them will be superior to whatever McDonald’s can offer, but there are few Taco Bell equivalents. You don’t get Taco Bell because you want Mexican food. You get Taco Bell because you want Taco Bell (or more broadly, heavily Americanized versions of things that might sort of resemble Mexican food). You crave a burger, you order a burger. You crave fried chicken, you order fried chicken. You crave a Grilled Stuft Burrito, you’re not going to order an honest-to-god authentic burrito.

Anyway, congrats to all the stoners whose dreams just came true. You can check to see if you’re in delivery range here; those availing themselves of this service can do so without a delivery fee on orders over $12 for a limited time.

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves TV, bourbon, and overanalyzing social interactions. Please buy her book, How TV Can Make You Smarter (Chronicle, 2020). It’s short!


“You crave a Grilled Stuft Burrito, you’re not going to order an honest-to-god authentic burrito.”

This is so, so true.

I’m sort of interested in this kind of tech that allows them to pick it up right when it’s ready. I’ve been kind of off GrubHub/DoorDash lately because you pay a ton for food that is, at best, lukewarm by the time it gets to you. (I don’t necessarily find this to be the same with places that employ their own delivery drivers, like Domino’s.) Plus now after that article on how these sites are using your tip to pay the driver, now I have to worry about having cash too. It just seems like whatever I gain in convenience, I lose more in other areas.