Supermarkets are adding gyms because everyone loves stank while buying groceries

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Supermarkets are, for some reason, adding gyms, so that you can feel even worse about yourself when you take a few extra laps around the expensive cheese section for free samples even though you have no intention of actually buying any of the cheese so you start picking up cheeses and inspecting them really closely while making your “thinking hard” face so hopefully the people who work there will think you’re seriously considering buying cheese before you put it back while making a face like you weren’t impressed so it’s totally fine that you ate half a pound of free fancy cheese.


CNN reports that Hy-Vee is jumping on this burgeoning trend, and has announced that it will build studios for OrangeTheory—the $159 a month high-intensity training gym full for very sexy people— in two Minnesota stores. In 2014, a New Jersey ShopRite opened a fitness center that offers yoga and Zumba, and, of course, Whole Foods’ flagship store in Austin, Texas, offers barre, spinning and yoga on the roof.

Industry experts say that adding fitness classes could convince shoppers to stick around the store to shop a little longer, which is totally something you want to do when you’re covered from the waist down in crotch sweat. There’s no way to stay inconspicuous in the fancy cheese section if you look like that.



I read that far too quickly, and saw “bare spinning yoga,” which seems like the least appetizing grocery display I could imagine.