Who Moved $50,000 Worth Of Stolen Cheese?

Terrible news for Southern Californians who prefer to buy our cheese off the black market: police in Lemoore, California, have arrested two men who they believe have been embezzling cheese from the Lemprino Foods Plant. Authorities say that about $50,000 worth of product has been stolen since 2017, but did not clarify if that was the retail price or street value.

You will personally be affected by this if you live in Fresno, Tulare, Kings, or Riverside County and have grown accustomed to purchasing your cheese from two strange men who have been traveling door to door peddling their wares.

Central Valley News reports that this is an ongoing investigation and that authorities are asking for the public's help in identifying and apprehending additional suspects who may have been involved in a wider distribution network that involved Facebook, Instagram, and unscrupulous flea markets with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy when it comes to cheese supply chains. If you can give a good physical description of the remaining cheese bandits, or if you see them peddling illicit string cheese on the streets, please call the Lemoore police department immediately.