Photo: Sally Anscombe/Getty Images

Isn’t it nice to talk about something non-controversial for once, a topic where there is but one irrefutable answer, in this case: Is the hot dog a sandwich? The answer, naturally, is yes. A hot dog is a sandwich. End of discussion, you may now move on to your next piece of internet content.

Wait, someone is making a counterargument to this conclusive, settled science?

It’s author and man-on-television John Hodgman, he of The Daily Show, mid-2000's Apple commercials, beloved podcasting figure. Hodgman has famously taken the incorrect position that the hot dog is not a sandwich, a topic he debated live on stage, even bamboozling the paying audience into taking his side. Nevertheless, this one-sided debate received its highest-profile platform to date, when Hodgman brought up the subject on last Thursday’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

In the segment, Colbert successfully argued the 100-percent correct position that the hot dog is, in fact, a sandwich. One of Hodgman’s invalid talking points has been the hot dog bun only splits open on one side, and that a sandwich should always comprise of two separate and detached pieces of bread. Colbert quickly countered: Does Subway make sandwiches? Because their bread, like a hot dog bun, is one continuous piece that’s only open on one side.

Please enjoy this clip of Colbert intellectually destroy Hodgman, who somehow has not receded from public view after this mortifying act of televised humiliation:

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