Screenshot: Stella Artois (YouTube)

I have spent a lot of time thinking about ways to improve on DJ Roomba. There are the obvious options: put a box on it and put the cat in said box, for giggles; put one of those spinning party light balls on it, also for giggles; strap a mop to the back; get two and tie them together so it looks like they’re ice-dancing. You get the idea. But one idea has never been remotely plausible, for spillage reasons. It has never been reasonable to imagine putting open bottles or glasses on alcohol on a robot vacuum... until now.

Stella Artois has released BART, or Bartending Automated Robotic Tech. In short, it’s a gizmo that turns one’s robot vacuum into a drink-and-snack conveyance system. You can purchase it for— whoops, already sold out.

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But the good news for those who want a robot to bring them beer and nuts (and who doesn’t?) is that you can also hit up that one friend who impulse-bought a 3D printer and have them make one for you.

What makes this work (i.e., the element you should steal if you want to try to make one out of plywood, koozies, duct tape, and gumption) is that the tray which rests atop the stand has cup- and glass-holders, which should prevent drinks from spilling should someone knock into your new robot friend. That said, it will probably do little to keep your drinks from spilling should your new robot friend join the robot uprising, but by that point we’ll all be doomed anyway, so no point in crying over spilled Stella.

It will also still vacuum.