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Stealing pricey wine from your Goldman Sachs boss is the 2nd most Goldman Sachsian crime

Photo: David Silverman/Getty Images
Photo: David Silverman/Getty Images

Aside from launching a massive Ponzi scheme, stealing expensive wine from your boss and then reselling under the alias “Mark Miller” has to be the most white-collar, Wharton-bred criminal scheme you could cook up. Nicolas De-Meyer, 40, a former personal assistant to a Goldman Sachs co-president, was arrested at Los Angeles International Airport Monday, charged with the theft of about $1.2 million worth of expensive wine from his boss’ East Hampton wine cellar.

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The indictment, filed in U.S. District Court in New York, alleges that between 2014 and 2016, De-Meyer stole and sold hundreds of bottles, including many from renowned French vintner Domaine de la Romanée-Conti (DRC, in street parlance). De-Miller’s boss had previously purchased these DRC bottles for a cool $133,650.

Let’s thank our lucky stars for the East Hampton P.D. and the FBI’s fancy crimes brigade.

“The FBI Art Crime Team is tasked with investigating and recovering rare and many times invaluable items, and bringing to justice criminals who believe no one is watching. We would like to thank the East Hampton Village Police Department for its partnership in this case,” FBI Assistant Director William F. Sweeney Jr. said in a statement confirming the arrest.

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De-Miller is charged with one count of interstate transportation of stolen property, which carries a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison. He should also be sentenced to drink Franzia for the rest of his natural life.

Kate Bernot is a freelance writer and a certified beer judge. She was previously managing editor at The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

Is that a picture of the actual bottles he stole? Those are some dirty-ass motherfucking bottles. Like I guess I get the idea behind “vintage” wine and whiskey and shit but if it gets to the point where it looks like it had been sitting in a long-forgotten cellar in a French chateau for the past 50 years then you could not pay me to put that in my mouth.