Screenshot: CBS New York (YouTube)

Perhaps you’ve noticed a particular stunt performed over the past several years by sporting-event attendees who encapsulate everything about our social media-obsessed, reality show-dominated landscape. They’re eating what appears to be giant tubs of mayonnaise, presumably to draw video-screen attention and Twitter notoriety. But just what, exactly, are they really eating?

Vice’s Munchies points to several online forums and videos dating back to 2012 that recommend perpetrating this “prank” by replacing the tub’s mayonnaise with vanilla pudding. This is nothing new, Munchies argues, so please knock it off with the dumb gag.

Advertisement

Except…what if it’s really mayo? We can’t know for sure whether it’s pudding or Hellman’s in those massive tubs. I have yet to interview one of the eaters, so the mayo/pudding question remains a sort of nauseating Schrodinger’s cat. If the internet can express skepticism that these spectators are consuming roughly a pint of mayonnaise, allow us to express skepticism at that skepticism.

This is America, where people dunk fried chicken in soda, consume dozens of hot dogs in the span of minutes, and make sandwiches out of KFC skins. Nothing is impossible, and nothing is sacred. Maybe it’s mayo after all, and maybe we’re just not prepared to accept that possibility.