World’s worst employee admits to spiking coworkers’ drinks with LSD

Illustration for article titled World’s worst employee admits to spiking coworkers’ drinks with LSD
Graphic: Chris the Composer (iStock)

You might have a coworker who’s a close talker, or a loud chewer, or a constant cougher. But you have it easy compared to two employees of an Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Arnold, Missouri, who were taken to the hospital last Monday after their coworker spiked their water bottles with the hallucinogenic drug LSD. According to the Jefferson County Leader, the 19-year-old man was arrested the same day and admitted he had covertly put drugs in their drinks because “they were too uptight, and they needed to have better energy.”


According to the National Institute On Drug Abuse, D-lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) is derived from lysergic acid, a fungus that grows on rye and other grains. It is “one of the most powerful mood-changing chemicals” whose effects could include hallucinations, increased heart rate, intensified feelings and sensory experiences, and a change in a person’s sense of time—all of which sound completely miserable to experience unexpectedly. At work.

News station KMOV-4 reports two employees were hospitalized complaining of unexplained dizziness and shaking; they felt better after the effects of the alleged drugging wore off. According to police, no charges have yet been filed as authorities await the results of lab testing on water samples taken from the employees’ bottles, but the Enterprise worker could face charges of second-degree assault and possession of a controlled substance.


Kate Bernot is a freelance writer and a certified beer judge. She was previously managing editor at The Takeout.


Truly, the best way to get your coworkers to lighten up and relax is to secretly drug them with a substance that – if you’re unaware you’ve taken it – could easily convince you that you’re dying or going insane.

Semi-related: when I was in college, my ex-girlfriend was scheduled to take her driving test, and before she left, took a big swig of the smoothie her roommate had left in a blender in the fridge. She had just gotten behind the wheel at the DMV when the shrooms said roommate had blended into the smoothie started to kick in. She passed the test, somehow, and subsequently worked out a system with her roommate where any food laced with psychedelics that was left in the fridge had to be marked with a smiley-face Post-It.