Sour Patch Kids nail polish is the latest in non-edible Sour Patch Kids merch

Left: Nail polish in seven colors on a bed of Sour Patch Kids candies. Right: A manicured hand holding Sour Patch Kids candies.
Sally Hansen Insta-Dri x Sour Patch Kids
Image: Sally Hansen

Sour Patch Kids are having a moment. A big, flashy moment. Fresh off the announcement of the world’s first permanent brick-and-mortar Sour Patch Kids store in Manhattan, Sour Patch Kids is collaborating with Sally Hansen on a line of nail polish colors for Halloween featuring candy-bright shades of red, green, orange, blue, purple, black, and clear. Wait, what?

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“Our limited-edition collection brings to life the vibrant colors of the Sour Patch Kids® in our best-selling Insta-Dri formula,” reads a press release announcing the launch. But any Sour Patch aficionado—hell, even a casual Sour Patch hobbyist—knows that only four of the seven colors in this collection (red, green, orange, and blue) represent flavors that can be found in a bag of classic Kids. Blue didn’t even take its rightful place in the lineup until 2014. Purple Sour Patch Kids can be found within a bag of Sour Patch Kids Berries, but this product variant is rarely seen in the wild, and I can confirm this as someone who has actively searched for it.

On to another baffling color inclusion: black. This color makes sense for a Halloween collection, sure, but if you’re designing a color pack around a tenuous connection between vibrant Sour Patch candies and nail polish, maybe reserve the black for some sort of Nightmare Before Christmas collab. (Come to think of it, the purple shade would be more at home there, too. With some goldenrod and maroon thrown in? And an icy, zombie-skin blue? Can I design this line?)

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“This colorful, bold shade range is inspired by the most popular Sour Patch Kids® flavors you know and love,” the press release goes on, making me feel as though I’ve completely lost my mind.

The white bottle, inscrutable at first blush, is actually a clear nail polish that goes on with white glitter, mimicking the sour powder of actual Sour Patch Kids candy. That’s pretty cool, and it does a lot of the heavy lifting to evoke the sour gummi aesthetic across this lineup. But if any color is going to scream Sour Patch for me, it’s yellow—that acidic, almost painfully bright yellow color that adorns every single bag. If yellow’s in the mix, then suddenly the bold contrast of black polish makes more sense, evoking the lettering of the logo itself, and I wonder why Sally Hansen didn’t choose to include it... but it’s clear that I’ve already thought way too much about this before 10 a.m. on a Wednesday. If you want to pick up these polishes for yourself, you can find them at Amazon, Ulta, and Walgreens.

Marnie Shure is editor in chief of The Takeout.

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DISCUSSION

tampabeeatch
TampaBabaYaga (Name changes reflect identity crisis)

Want to know what makes this choice even MORE baffling? Sally Hansen Insta-Dri has a vibrant yellow, it’s called Lightning. To me it’s not quiiiiite the right shade for this, it’s a little too sunny and probably would need more of a green tint, but regardless!

Before I saw this article I pulled it out of my embarrassingly large nail polish collection earlier today to give myself a mani after I dyed my hair (paint my door red and call me Elizabeth Arden, it’s a full on spa day here at Casa de Tampa). Nearly half my collection is SH Insta-Dri because I’m impatient, and it usually only needs one coat plus clear coat.

I totally dig the idea of the Glitter Sugar* one to put on top, but how do you leave out the most Sour Patchey of the Sour Patch colors? I’m off to paint my nails Lightning in protest. 

*Up to a point. I recently bought a couple of super cool looking glitter Insta-Dri shades, but man are they a bitch and a half to get off! But they lasted a decent amount of time and looked super cool.