Photo: JohnCarnemolla (iStock)

One day, not very long ago (Sunday), three little piggies ran away from home. (Actually, they weren’t really that little. But anyway.) Why did they run? They didn’t say. Perhaps they wanted to take in the sights of beautiful downtown Tyumen, the Siberian town where they live. Among the things that they saw was a Dedmorobus, a bright red bus full of Santa Clauses who sing and give away candy. (In the Eastern Orthodox church, Christmas only ended yesterday.) This must have been very exciting. How often do pigs get to see one Santa, let alone an entire busload?

After a while, the pigs probably got cold. This is Siberia, after all, and temperatures in Tyumen are currently in the teens. So they went inside a grocery store to warm up. They nibbled some greens and vegetables. Then they made a bee-line for the liquor aisle. These pigs are not stupid. They smashed a couple of bottles of cognac and began licking the liquor off the floor.

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Of course someone had to spoil the fun and call the police to complain that the store was turning into a pigsty. The pigs’ owner was summoned to reclaim them. And thus the adventure ended—but not before it was thoroughly documented on social media.

In its report, the local TV station helpfully added some background (translation by Google): “In Tyumen, unexpected encounters with animals sometimes occur. Once on the Melnikayte Street, the Tyumen stumbled upon a huge python that was crawling along the sidewalk. Residents of the city were afraid that he would be able to eat someone.”

Between the Santas, the pig, and the python, Tyumen sounds like it’s definitely in the running to be the most fun town in Siberia.

Aimee Levitt is associate editor of The Takeout.

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