Photo: Youngoldman (iStock)

This week, a very specific home goods item has been making the rounds on the internet. Behold, the Sipski, a wine glass-holder for your shower.

If you’ve got $15 and any sort of tolerance for Urban Outfitters, that gadget (generous term there) can be yours. And based on the coverage from outlets like Bustle, People, and Jezebel, it would seem the world is excited about this bathing innovation.

And that is wrong. You are wrong.

I am a longtime proponent of the shower beer. Cold beer, hot water, steam, solitude, maybe an audiobook? Heaven. But the reason that the shower beer works as an activity is because you’re able to drink it from a can or a bottle. The mouth from which the beverage flows is small. It’s possible that the odd droplet could splash into your hazy IPA, but it’s a small target.

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Not so with the shower wine, unless you’re drinking that from a can, too (a good idea! A nice canned shower rosé sounds great.) Sure, the glass looks pretty cute in that holder, but unless your shower is downright palatial, there’s no way water’s not landing in there—and even if you’ve got a spot in the shower far enough away from the splash zone to prevent bouncing drops from diluting your sauv blanc, you’d have to walk back toward the shower head to sip while getting drenched, which is, frankly, the whole point. Either way, water is definitely getting in there.

Now, this company also makes a holder for cans—like the shower version, it’s silicone and waterproof. Maybe I could be into that, though don’t the stick-on-your-wall shower gadgets always end up falling or sliding off eventually? Granted, you’re already in your shower, so the mess wouldn’t matter a ton, but then you can’t drink that heavenly shower beer/canned wine. But even without that worry, I’d still advocate for doing it the college way: wedging a bottle or can between your shampoo and conditioner and hoping for the best. It’s part of the adventure of a shower beer.