Former sheriff’s deputy gets jail time for smuggling meth in KFC mashed potatoes

Illustration for article titled Former sheriff’s deputy gets jail time for smuggling meth in KFC mashed potatoesem/em
Photo: marcoprati (iStock)

A onetime deputy of the El Paso County Sheriff’s Department (Colorado, not Texas) has been sentenced to six years in prison. His crime: Smuggling methamphetamine into jail. His method: Hide it in mashed potato substance.

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According to The Gazette, 35-year-old Steven D’Agostino, who was sentenced Wednesday, would go to “arranged meetings with inmates’ associates to pick up the drugs concealed in food. Then he would bring the food into the jail and distribute the drugs to inmates—collecting $1,500 for each exchange.”

The arrest affidavit states that on the day of D’Agostino’s arrest, a woman dropped off a KFC order for him. The order included mashed potatoes, naturally, and in the mashed potatoes was “a blue balloon containing 7.5 grams of methamphetamine.”

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He got fired, obviously. And who disrespects mashed potatoes (or even mashed potato substance) like that?

Contributor, The A.V. Club and The Takeout. Allison loves television, bourbon, and dramatically overanalyzing social interactions.

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DISCUSSION

mariostragicbackstory
Mario's Tragic Backstory

In the 1940s-set video game L.A. Noire, one of the cases involves a morphine-selling operation that tapes vials of drugs to the bottom of popcorn buckets in order to sell their product on the street. Another case involves a soup company that smuggles weed in soup cans.

I guess my point is that ol’ Steve shouldn’t have picked a smuggling method that didn’t even fool video game cops from the ‘40s.