Popeye’s drive-thru is out here looking like Prada Marfa.
Photo: Popeye’s

Okay Popeye’s, you got me. I saw your press release introducing a “12-hour drive-thru,” and I was intrigued. I know that’s what you wanted, so congratulations. It worked. I clicked. I’m even writing about it. But I am doing so while acknowledging that this is a 100-percent, bona fide, through-to-its-core publicity stunt that I’m pretty sure no sane human will attempt.

Here’s the gist, folks: Popeye’s wants you to know that its restaurant marinates their chicken for 12 hours before frying it, so they’ve constructed a 12-hour drive-thru. This involves you placing an order at a box in Fort Stockton, Texas, then driving the 12 hours to New Orleans to collect your order. Why would you do this? Well, you wouldn’t, but if you did, your meal would be free upon your arrival in New Orleans.

The 12-hour drive-thru will only accept orders for 24 hours between November 9 and 10, and if people register online ahead of time and then make the drive, they are entered to win a year’s worth of Popeye’s. But you know how else you can be entered to win the year’s worth of chicken? By tweeting this video. So, uh, you decide which is simpler.

Let’s just drive home how ludicrous it would be to actually complete this stunt in order to get free chicken:

  • Miles from Fort Stockton, Texas, to New Orleans: 854
  • Highway miles per gallon rating of a Toyota Camry: 41
  • Gallons of gas required to drive from Fort Stockton, Texas, to New Orleans: 20.8
  • AAA average price of gallon of gas for Oct. 23: $2.84
  • Cost of gas for 12-hour drive: $59.07
  • Approximate cost of a Popeye’s Bonafide chicken dinner combo in Texas: $10.11

You do the math.

Advertisement