Photo: LENblR (iStock)

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission brought us disturbing, shocking, frankly distressing news over the weekend: Pizza sent 2,300 people to the emergency room in 2017. That’s right kids, pizza kills. Well, maybe not kills, but it certainly injures thousands of people each year with burns, cuts, falls, and more. Here’s how to protect yourself.

The Takeout’s comprehensive guide to pizza safety

  1. Remove pizza from its box slowly, avoiding cardboard paper cuts.
  2. When using a pizza slicer to separate pizza, stop slicing before you get to your hand.
  3. Do not stick your head in the oven to check on the pizza’s progress; use your oven light.
  4. Do not reach into the oven with bare hands—ask a friend to do it.
  5. Do not swallow a slice whole; bite off small pieces.
  6. Do not run while eating pizza.
  7. Do not run after eating pizza.
  8. Don’t run ever; you could hurt yourself.
  9. Do not attempt to fight the rabid raccoon that’s stolen your pizza.
  10. Do not eat pizza if you suffer from pizza allergies—ask your doctor if pizza is right for you.

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