In Most Controversial Stance Yet, Mayor Pete Comes Out In Favor Of Mixing Ranch And Salsa

Get Nate Silver on the horn! One of the 2020 Presidential candidates has made a statement that's going to turn his whole predictive model upside down! No, not this. The former mayor of South Bend, Indiana, and potential Wikipedia page editor (his own) announced, in a video recirculating Twitter this week, that he's open to mixing salsa and ranch dressing.

"I realize this might become one of my most controversial statements," says the first openly gay Presidential candidate. "But you gotta understand, where I come from, we're not purists about these things. Obviously, salsa is salsa and ranch is ranch, but if somebody's gonna mix 'em up, I'm not above dipping a tortilla chip in it and enjoying the mix of flavors." Pete says he's not arguing we replace our traditional use of ranch and salsa, but we shouldn't be "doctrinaire" until we've tried the combo. The Washington Post praised Pete's ranch/salsa opinion last August; perhaps the video is recirculating now to deter Super Tuesday voting Californians from voting for a candidate who would dare defile salsa.

As the South Carolina primaries and Super Tuesday draw near, middling candidates are making last-ditch efforts to thwart the rise of Bernie Sanders. Could this queasy combination of condiments be the edge Mayor Pete needs to scoop some states next week? If Pete's crusading for the white suburban vote, championing ranch dressing just might be a politically savvy move for him. Twitter users are generally outraged by Pete's dip take, but perhaps he's tapping into a silent majority of Americans who, too, will plunge a tortilla chip into literally anything.

Also: of course Pete's most "controversial statement" has to do with enjoying ranch dressing. Of course.