Put a Little Milk in Your Pepsi, Says Pepsi

Pepsi really wants you to dump some Pepsi over milk this Christmas. And Lindsay Lohan does, too.

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Pepsi is hopping onto the dirty soda trend for its Christmas campaign, encouraging people to try “Pilk”—Pepsi mixed with milk—which a press release refers to as “a surprising and naughty new twist.” (It must either be extremely difficult or extremely easy to work in PR, but I can’t tell which.)

For the unacquainted, dirty soda is a longtime favorite concoction in Utah that was recently popularized on TikTok, and involves mixing soda, heavy cream, and syrups to create a smooth, aesthetically pleasing drink. A cousin of the ice cream float, if you will.

“Pilk,” however, is not the most appetizing name for a drink. I mean, Pilk. PILK is close enough to Victoria’s Secret’s PINK, which calls to mind 2007 preteens shoplifting. But Pepsi does have Coca-Cola beat in that “Pilk” sounds better than “Cilk.” Or Coilk? Coca-Milka? Moke? All of these sound like slurs? Pilk. Fine.

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“Combining Pepsi and milk has long been a secret hack among Pepsi fans,” Todd Kaplan, Pepsi’s chief marketing officer, said in a statement. “Now with the rise of the ‘dirty soda’ trend on TikTok and throughout the country, we thought Pilk and Cookies would be a great way to unapologetically celebrate the holidays with a new and delicious way to enjoy Pepsi this season.”

Is it even possible for this concoction to be a secret hack among Pepsi fans while simultaneously being a new and delicious way to enjoy Pepsi? Also, who are these diehard Pepsi fans and why haven’t they spoken up?

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But whatever. If you try Pilk and you decide that you cannot get enough of regular Pilk and need need bigger, better Pilk, Pepsi also has ideas for recipes involving other Pepsi products, like a Wild Cherry version (1 cup Pepsi Wild Cherry, ½ cup milk, 2 Tbsp. heavy cream, 2 Tbsp. caramel creamer), and a Nitro Pepsi Vanilla version (½ cup almond milk and 4 Tbsp. coconut creamer, mixed and poured over Nitro Pepsi Vanilla).

Instead of partnering with Lactaid, the official Pilk Christmas ad features Lindsay Lohan, star of a new Netflix Christmas movie/visual equivalent of a lobotomy. She’s coming down a staircase in tartan pajamas and a Santa hat (classic bedtime wear) and taking a sip of Pilk prepared by Santa, and saying,“That is one dirty soda, Santa.” Unnecessarily horny? Sure, a little bit! Pilk! PILK!