Olive Garden is sending kids to virtual prom

Because they give out those chocolate mints, remember?
Because they give out those chocolate mints, remember?
Photo: Olive Garden

Olive Garden is a place where teen dreams come true. After all, the whole concept of bottomless breadsticks is perfectly tailored to people with small budgets, fast metabolisms, and no weekend plans beyond hours of lingering. Indeed, in a press release, the Italian-American restaurant chain called itself “the unofficial sponsor of the pre-prom dinner.” Since those dinners won’t be happening this spring, Olive Garden is creating a sort of virtual prom for the class of 2020.

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Here’s how it works: Kids can take (solo) photos of themselves in their prom outfits, and have their date do the same. Then, they’ll tweet the photos with the hashtag #OliveGardenProm or submit them via Instagram DM. Then, Olive Garden will create one-of-a-kind magic with the photos (aka tap their one non-furloughed employee who knows how to use Photoshop). The resulting masterpiece will feature two non-socially-distant dates at the Olive Garden Prom, a delightful event I hope to attend in real life someday. The O.G. has also designed downloadable Prom Breadstick Bouquets, which feature phrases like “Cavatappi Queen,” “Prince of Parmesan,” and “Breadstick Bae,” with which prom-goers can pose. Or with which they can do whatever! They’re your breadstick bouquets, you crazy kids!

Like so many Fun Activities designed to serve those under pandemic lockdown—Zoom happy hours, virtual game nights, citywide singalongs—the Olive Garden Prom falls into the category of, “oh, that’s nice, you know, considering.” Sigh. Olive Garden is currently accepting solo photos and will be making custom prom pics through April. Also, it’s worth nothing that folks of any age can attend the virtual Olive Garden Prom. So have at it, you old creeps! And if you want to download a crown to wear for this or, really, any other reason, click here to start the download.

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DISCUSSION

I read this as ‘Olive Garden sends kids virtual porn’ and I somehow wasn’t surprised.