When I think “getaway vehicle,” I imagine two options. First, something discreet, like a beige 1997 Geo Metro that’ll allow you to zip through alleys undetected. Alternatively, something red and fast that screams “sexy sexy criminal.” A recent theft in Oklahoma City involved a getaway vehicle that was neither discreet nor sexy: an enormous Frito-Lay delivery truck.
Food & Wine has the full story. The Enid, Oklahoma, police department, reported that 34-year-old Joshua Karpe allegedly hopped inside the truck and sped off into the sunset. Karpe presumably spied the truck as it idled in the parking lot of an Oklahoma City gas station and thought to himself, “Yes, I will take that.” The Frito-Lay driver tried to keep the thief from getting away—but the highway robber (sorry) still led officers on an hour-long chase that covered almost 100 miles.
Eventually, the Doritos bandit grew weary and slowed down. “Officer [Brett] Moore advised the vehicle was traveling extremely slow, so he approached the vehicle and ordered the driver out,” the Enid Police Department recounted in a press release that was posted on Facebook. “The driver complied and was taken into custody. Officer Moore then entered the stolen truck and put it in park to stop it.” Karpe was taken back to Oklahoma City and booked into the Oklahoma City jail. Now we’re left to wonder: what was his motive? Did he want a year’s supply of free Doritos? Did he simply want to feel the wind in his hair as he hit the highway at a bruising 55 MPH in a large delivery vehicle? Did he long for a gentleman thief’s life of Cool Ranch-scented glamour? One thing is certain: sir, that’s nacho truck.