North Carolina third-graders launch daring escape for French fries and McNuggets

Photo: huettenhoelscher (iStock)

Anyone who has children and has seen It can attest to the fact that children will do anything a clown tells them to. I have never been able to get my kids to eat anything without them first prodding and examining it for a solid five minutes, but the first time they encountered McDonald’s, they wanted to eat everything without any such inspection. Ronald McDonald whispers to them in a frequency only dogs and small children can hear. No matter how hard you try to raise healthy, adventurous eaters, the children will always be drawn to the warm glowing warming glow of The Golden Arches.

Last Wednesday, the hunger for Happy Meals was just too powerful for two North Carolina third graders to overcome. ABC affiliate WTVD reports that, at recess, the students escaped from the Holly Springs Elementary School playground and made a mad dash for Mickey D’s, in an escape so well planned that it wasn’t noticed by school faculty until their class lined up to go back inside. Police were immediately notified, and the search was on.

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Meanwhile, at a McDonald’s over a mile away from the school, a concerned citizen noticed that there were two unsupervised third graders in the restaurant during school hours, and called the police. The children were picked up, and escorted back to school.

The school has yet to determine what sort of disciplinary action will be taken against the students. It probably will not be as bad as whatever justice their parents choose to dish out, because if those were my kids they would never leave the house again.

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About the author

Allison Robicelli

Allison Robicelli is the staff writer for The Takeout, a former professional baker, the host of The Robicelli Argument Clinic Podcast, and a nascent birding enthusiast.