Screenshot: KHOU-11 (YouTube)

Filmmakers and writers do this exercise called storyboarding. You lay the elements of your piece out visually, in little scenes or snippets, and then arrange them in a manner that’s cohesive and intriguing. I’ll confess that right now I am staring a metaphorical storyboard that contains the following elements of a story—gold speedo, naked guy, dog park, peanut butter, fantasy football—and struggling with how to arrange them. All these details are just so… vivid.

Maybe we’ll start in reverse chronologically: Last week, a 25-year-old Arlington, Texas man arrived at Bark Park Central dog park in Dallas, Texas, nearly naked except for a gold speedo bathing suit. Per news station WFAA-8, the man then covered himself in creamy Jif peanut butter and entered the dog park. He stood there for 5 minutes while dogs eagerly approach for a snack and spectators watch in confusion. His girlfriend filmed the incident.

Why. Why, for the love of God?

Because he lost a bet. Steven Shrout placed last in his 12-person fantasy football league, the penalty for which was to pay $250 or perform the dog park peanut butter stunt. The thrifty Shrout chose the latter.

“My strategy was to do it as fast as possible, and hope that not many people would see me,” Shrout told WFAA.

Presumably, he really regrets drafting LeVeon Bell first.