Ask The Salty Waitress: A party guest is helping himself to my fridge

Illustration for article titled Ask The Salty Waitress: A party guest is helping himself to my fridge
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The Salty WaitressThe Salty WaitressSalty Waitress is The Takeout’s advice column from a real-life waitress that will teach you how not to behave like a garbage person while dining out—and maybe in real life.

Dear Salty: Last weekend I hosted a casual get-together at my house. Everyone was having a great time, but I couldn’t help but notice one of the guests (I’d consider him more an acquaintance than a close friend) rifling through my fridge! Not only did he help himself to an expensive bottle of beer I hid in the back, I saw him peeking through some Tupperware leftovers and in the tray where we kept deli meats. It felt weirdly intrusive. Am I off-base for feeling this way?

Chloe

Dear Chloe,

Hooo boy, you’ve got my press-on nails curled into Attack position.

You are correct to feel this way, because that’s just bad house guest protocol. If I’m granting anyone access to Salty’s fridge, you better believe I’m blocking off the Smirnoff Ice or heads will roll.

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But really, I can’t be that mad. You’re just going to have to assume that nothing is off-limits. If that $15 bottle of beer brewed by Trappist monks is really important to you, then stuff it in the vegetable crisper—there couldn’t be a less subtle hint. Still, if you find Nicolas Cage hunting for ham-shaped national treasures in your Frigidaire, just know that it’s a price to pay for being hospitable. It’s like if someone came to my diner and knocks over a glass and shatters it on the floor: It’s unexpected and it’s annoying, but it happens.

This really sounds like a matter of convenience, so you might want to make your drinks and food as easily accessible as possible. Put your beer and sodas in a cooler and place that on the counter. Stack your plastic cups in a column next to it. Fill an ice bucket up to the brim. Maybe organize your pepperoni slices in a nice floral pattern. Make it so that there’s no reason anyone will need to crack your fridge open in the first place.

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Got a question about dining out etiquette? Or just a general question about life we can help you with? Email us: salty@thetakeout.com

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DISCUSSION

“...it’s a price to pay for being hospitable.”

No. Absolutely not. My being hospitable does not give guests the right to dig through my medicine cabinet (I’m not talking about in the guest bathroom), rifle through my underwear drawer, dig through my office desk, or paw through my fridge and Tupperware containers. Allowing guests into your home does not mean you automatically allow them into every nook and cranny or wherever they want to snoop through. This guest was flat-out rude. Salty has taken the idea of “hospitality” too far.