Among crossword puzzle devotees, the USA Today daily puzzle ranks very far down the hierarchy, if it appears at all. But last Wednesday, it made its way into the public eye with one of its clues, 10 Down, to be precise, not because of its wit or charm, but because of its absolute bizarreness.
“Oreos and mustard—I can now inform you with learned experiential certainty,” the writer continued, “are wretched.”
Who exactly are the “some people” who consume Oreos with mustard? I would like to have a word with them. If you could kindly provide their phone numbers and home mailing addresses, I would be most appreciative.
I would also be very appreciative if you would kindly refund $0.14—the exact cost of the 4 Altoids I had to consume to get the taste out of my mouth—to my Venmo. I’m willing to forgive the cost of the Oreo: $0.18. The mustard was free.
Murphy does not appear to have investigated. But there was plenty of commentary in his mentions, including a couple of messages from Oreo itself, which pronounced the letter “priceless” and added:
As Today.com noted, film writer Josh Spiegel discovered some literary evidence for the practice in Theodore Carl Soderberg’s memoir The Summer of ’72: Haight Ashbury to Alaska about a summer vacation he spent on a 32-foot fishing boat. The book seems to be full of questionable decisions.
“‘Did you know that Oreos taste better if you spread a little mustard on them?’ I then spread a big glob of mustard on two Oreos, shoved one in my mouth as mustard dripped down my chin, and extended the last one toward Lenny. ‘Here you go, buddy, give it a try!’
“‘Ugh, how can you eat Oreos with mustard?’”
Okay, maybe not.
But tell us, is there anything worse than mustard that you could put on an Oreo?