I have a mini-crisis once every few years. It usually happens after a grueling day at work. I’ll hobble outside to walk my dog, realize I’ve been hunched at my desk like a withered crone for eight hours without feeling a touch of sunlight, panic that I’m wasting my gorgeous youthful body on a sedentary job, and then immediately start looking for park ranger jobs. Lucky for my supple, well-muscled form, an unexpected beverage brand is hiring a park ranger as we speak: MTN DEW.
Per a press release, MTN DEW is seeking a ranger to oversee its new MTN DEW Outpost, a 3,000-acre complex located on Doe Mountain outside of Mountain City, Tennessee. MTN DEW was apparently founded in the hills of Tennessee (makes sense) which is why the brand is leaning into the Outpost’s wilderness angle with 45 miles of hiking trails, a mountain-side overlook, and an archery course.
In preparation for the Outpost’s grand opening, the brand will appoint the first-ever “MTN DEW Outpost Ranger.” Unfortunately, it’s not a permanent position; it’s more of a temporary brand ambassadorship, from the looks of things. The ranger’s tenure lasts for one week, during which time the appointee will lead group hikes, orchestrate a “mountain scavenger hunt,” and supervise other outdoorsy fun.
Despite the ranger’s short tenure, the gig pays pretty well. Per the release, the appointee will receive $5,000, travel to and from Doe Mountain, a “tricked out RV for mountain accommodations,” a “unique DEW-branded ranger uniform,” and, of course, access to exclusive DEW products.
Does this gig appear even remotely similar to the responsibilities of a bona fide park ranger? Honestly, I have no idea. My ranger fantasies usually include stomping around in hiking boots and enjoying hours of fresh air every day, but I’m sure it’s not as glamorous as all that.
Regardless, MTN DEW fans can apply online starting today through January 14 via www.MTNDEWOutpost.com.