Screenshot: Company Man (YouTube), Photo: Katrina Wittkamp (Getty Images)

Keith Jordan is good at certain things, not so good at other things.

Thing he is good at: concealing $170 worth of allegedly stolen ribeye steaks in his pants and speeding away from a Nashville Walmart.

Thing he is not good at: Being inconspicuous.

Turns out, riding a moped in the rain with 10 frozen steaks in one’s pants makes one something of a target for police, who swiftly zeroed in on their suspect, according to CBS-12.

“He noticed a large bulge in the bottom of his pants,” Nashville Police Department captain Carlos Ricks said of his deputy who helped apprehend the suspect. “We un-cuffed him and allowed him to get them out.”

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Suspect Keith Jordan had allegedly pocketed—er, pantsed?—the meat at a Walmart and then exited the store without paying before speeding away on his moped. While we are impressed by his meat-concealing pants, we give him lower marks for his unstealthy choice of a getaway vehicle.