Screenshot: YouTube

Like many of life’s purest pleasures, this one is much better experienced firsthand than described. Behold: Eugenio Suárez of the Cincinnati Reds, narrowly avoiding an unutterable fate by deftly dodging stampeding sausages during last night’s game.

Which is your favorite moment? Is it the dodge itself? The moment in which Suárez, still blessedly with us, stretches his arms wide as if to drink in this great world which was very nearly stolen from him far too soon? The cheeky shrug followed by pointy-fingers-at-eyes gesture, as if to congratulate himself on his near escape, despite the fact that he wandered out in front of the sausages in the first place, completely unaware of what fate had in store?

Or is it the racing sausages themselves?

I like the arms-wide-open bit myself.

According to MLB.com’s Cut4, these sausages have been racing around Milwaukee’s for a quarter century (so seriously, look alive, Suárez!) And oh yes, the Brewers won, 11-9. It probably wasn’t the sausages, but it wasn’t not the sausages, either.

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