Photo: McDonald’s

It is 10:34 a.m., Central Standard Time. I have just ordered a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich and fries, to be delivered to my home, for journalism.

Today, July 19, is apparently McDelivery Day—or rather, #McDelivery Day, if we’re using the official language. Beginning at either 10:30 or 11 a.m. local time, anyone who loves novelty French fry socks can add a piece of corporate swag from the “’90s Throwback Collection” to a minimum $5 order through the Uber Eats app. I am a sucker, and have done so.

It is 10:50 a.m., C.S.T., and my order has arrived.

Photo: Allison Shoemaker

So first, you don’t get to pick your swag. A four-pack of pins wouldn’t have been my choice. But the process was very easy, otherwise. There’s a banner ad in the Uber Eats app that, when tapped immediately opens up a list of nearby participating restaurants and lays out the rules quite clearly. No dollar menu items apply; it’s first come, first served; delivery prices vary. I selected the McDonald’s closest to be and had an order of fries, a Diet Coke, and (sigh) a Sausage Egg & Cheese McGriddle in 16 minutes.

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McDonald’s seems to be very pro-app lately. Uproxx this morning directs our attention to the deals the fry giant is offering through its app, the most appealing of which is, for this humble Takeout writer at least, the one that promises a free medium fry on Fridays with any $1 purchase, for the rest of the year. In the interest of transparency, I should say that I don’t eat at McDonald’s anywhere near often enough to justify keeping the app on my phone. But when I do venture toward the golden arches, it’s almost always in the pursuit of fries, and if it happens to be Friday, well hey, free food.

Other deals: a free soft drink with a $1 purchase on Tuesdays and Thursdays; $3 off a $10 order, valid once daily through the end of the year; and a medium or large McCafé beverage for one cent with the purchase of another medium or large McCafé beverage; various other $1 sandwiches and drinks; the list goes on.

More swag.
Photo: McDonald’s

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In short, McDonald’s wants your greasy fry fingers to tap out greasy fry orders on your greasy phone, and in return, they’ll give you free shit. Tap away, if you’re so inclined.