McDonald’s conspiracy theory: Cheesy Bacon Fries will go national

Illustration for article titled McDonald’s conspiracy theory: Cheesy Bacon Fries will go national
Photo: Gwen Ihnat

Maybe you’ve heard whispers of McDonald’s Cheesy Bacon Fries. Like Bigfoot, they’re elusive, with confirmed sightings only in Hawaii and some northern California McD’s locations. The official party line from McDonald’s is that these Cheesy Bacon Fries are just a regional, limited-time offer like the McRib. But one free thinker (a McDonald’s truther, really) says he’s betting these fries will see a national launch next year.


This bold voice, analyst Mark Kalinowski of Kalinowski Equity Research, noticed the chain debuted Cheesy Bacon Fries in northern California markets that have previously been testing grounds for new national products. Nation’s Restaurant News says he made the bold prediction in one of his recent reports: “In general, McDonald’s seems to favor test items in places like Stockton and Modesto. That signals to us a seriousness about the testing that suggests the odds are probably growing that we’ll see a nationwide rollout of Cheesy Bacon Fries at some point during 2019.”

Not to rain on anyone’s loaded fries parade, but we’re not waiting on pins and needles for this theoretical launch. The Takeout’s Gwen Ihnat tried said fries as part of her taste test of the unique offerings at McDonald’s headquarters; she said they only tasted “like red and brown sodium.” They earned the shameful grade of D-. Plus, don’t forget, loaded fries suck in general.

Kate Bernot is a freelance writer and a certified beer judge. She was previously managing editor at The Takeout.


They don’t even look good, and I like McD’s fries.