McDonald's Breakfast Now Only Available In—wait For It—the Morning

Midnight McGriddles, we hardly knew ye. On Tuesday, McDonald's told its restaurant operators via webcast that it would be temporarily suspending all-day breakfast in an effort to simplify the business during the COVID-19 shutdowns. It'll presumably still sell breakfast items during "normal breakfast hours," but no longer at the hours when you're drunk enough to crave (and, subsequently, slam) a Sausage 'N Egg McMuffin. For you masochists, click this link to gaze longingly at what you now can only access for a limited number of hours per day.

The all-day breakfast freeze is an attempt to streamline kitchen operations, SVP Bill Garrett said in a statement. American McDonald's franchises have largely pivoted to drive-thru-only service amid the pandemic. (According to Crain's, drive-thru accounts for 70% of their revenue. Who knew?) French, Italian, British, and Spanish McDonald's locations, on the other hand, have completely closed. No such measure has been discussed openly in the States (how could we even function?) but, again per Garrett, more menu options will be removed in the coming weeks.

All-day breakfast began in 2015, under ex-CEO Steve Easterbrook's sage guidance, to jump-start sales. That worked, though breakfast revenue has since plateaued. Just this year, Mickey D's gave into the poultry frenzy and unveiled two fried chicken breakfast sandwiches; they are the Platonic ideals of "fine." I say this to assure you that McDonald's has not completely abandoned its breakfast endeavors. It is my deepest hope that we'll revert to round-the-clock biscuits soon enough.

With McDonald's all-day breakfast abandoning us in our time of need, we have some advice: make your own damn breakfast sando. Might we suggest the pepper-and-egg sandwich, a Lenten classic?