Only the sickest brats: McCormick’s new grill doubles as DJ station

Screenshot: McCormick Spice (YouTube)

As of today, summer has arrived. If it weren’t already, it’s now officially time for al fresco dining, Aperol spritzes, and one of our greatest outdoor cultural traditions: grilling. Whether dealing in charcoal or gas, there are few sensory experiences in this life as uniquely satisfying as the sizzle of well-cooked food on a hot day with a cold drink.

Many seasoned grillmasters tend to seek out as low-fuss an experience as possible; if the food is seasoned and cooked well, the meal should ostensibly be all the “event” that anybody needs. But for McCormick, experts in all things grilling, a new concept project unites two key aspects of the grilling experience: the grill, and the music that any good cookout needs. Behold the SUMR HITS 5000:

Billed as the “ultimate grilling innovation,” the SUMR HITS 5000 purportedly “allows the griller to decide when and what sounds are added to their music track by where the food is placed on the grill and which spices and sauces are used.” No faders or mixing board required.

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Sadly, the SUMR HITS 5000 will not be going directly to market; it’s intended strictly as a co-branding opportunity for McCormick and affiliated sauce/seasoning companies. However, once DJ Jazzy Jeff appeared in the video, and the low-hanging fruit of “DJ Jazzy Chef” popped into our heads, it was off-to-the-races for the Takeout staff and some equally absurd DJ-cookout mashups. At a glance:

  • Mike GRILL Made It
  • Just Braise
  • Swiss Beatz
  • Mannie Fresh All Beef Patties
  • Madrib
  • Fatboy Fat
  • Grillex
  • Afrika Hambaata
  • Onion Diplo
  • deadmoo5
  • DJ Mustard

Happy summer, everyone, and as always: grill and chill responsibly.

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